There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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