Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
