apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I know her cup size but not her name....
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