would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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