My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
