I feel like I'm in dance class right now
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think I sprained my soul last night
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
