you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Hello my rib-scented angel!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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