I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
