I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
