mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
my being single is dangerous.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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