no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
