Little spoons don't ask big questions
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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