I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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