I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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