The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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