i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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