Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
