so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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