is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
