? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
