All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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