..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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