Small penises have feelings too.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
