I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
