it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
