Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
