Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
