A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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