Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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