Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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