I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
