You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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