We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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