When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize