Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
