i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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