You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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