i think my tv is drunk
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize