oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.