Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm sobbing to NWA