I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
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I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
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I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.