did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...