ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
