mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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