Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I party with great urgency now.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
