just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
