I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
