1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Randomize
