wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
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