will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize