Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
