I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
