so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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