Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
