this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize