Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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