I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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