well you can't waste a boner
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
