I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
