I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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