CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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