she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
