This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
