half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
